Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
