everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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