Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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