I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize