trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
