As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
