Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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