i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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