He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize