real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
