i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
