I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize