used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
vagina is talking i cant
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
