Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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