we have pet lesbian snakes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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