Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
