i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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