I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
jump out the window naked night went bad
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