How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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