i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize