I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
