I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
