meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
