So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
