Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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