she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
