he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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