Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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