No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So squirting runs in the family.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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