its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm passing your future prison.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
