Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize