Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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