Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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