I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I CAN MOONWALK!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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