You're so nebulous sometimes
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
