Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
