I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
