Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Cover your peen. We're going out.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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