So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
