I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize