Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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