Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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