A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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