We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
