Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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