I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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