Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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