Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
