So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
