eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
