Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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