I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
