i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize