No, you can still breathe under the balls.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
