honey bunches of taint.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
