shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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