There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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