When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
