So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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