For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
