I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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